- 7th February
- 27th December
I think I’m past the point of wanting to bottle up this good feeling from fear of losing it.
It wasn’t that long ago that my sort of unconscious habit of being spontaneous was viewed as a bad thing. And it probably still is by those who must have every moment planned and controlled. I don’t set out to find myself in the places I’ve been, and sure, I’ve had my ass handed to me more than once.
I’ve discovered, though, that really stepping up and being brave has paid off more often than not. It’s becoming more clear that we can either spend this time we call life sitting on the sidelines, wishing we had what other people have, or get up and go get it ourselves.
A long ago acquaintance once said this to me: “You might not want to think of relationships as something that lasts forever like a fairy tale, but more like an intimate interaction between two people for an undefined amount of time. People change, grow and drift away from each other, but it didn’t mean that they didn’t love each other at the time.”
Think of the people you’ve loved and lost. I can feel fairly certain that the person you were before you met them changed through the process of knowing them and you came out on the other side with a better sense of *something*.
One of my quirks that I take issue with is my difficulty with change. Especially sudden change. It might be natural to want things to stay the same all the time, especially if it feels good. For someone who can’t stand being put in a box, though, I can’t think of many things more confining….to never grow and change out of fear of losing what feels comfortable.
I have said, both jokingly and seriously, that I want to bottle the good feelings I’ve been experiencing lately and stash them for a rainy day. The flaw in that is the assumption that I’ll not be able to experience those good feelings again in their natural state. Kinda selling myself short, isn’t it?
Because we don’t know what’s going to happen in each moment, doesn’t it make more sense to remain open to those things that are life-changing, rather than taking what feels good now and clinging to it?
Standing still and staying in my bubble is comfortable. Incredibly unsatisfying, but comfortable. Stifling, but comfortable. Comfortable-ness, for me, is stagnant and a breeding ground for complacency and, eventually, depression and meltdowns. Which is not to say that charging into the uncomfortable unknown isn’t going to have its own share of depression, euphoria, meltdowns, happiness, etc…
I think I’d rather be uncomfortable and growing and finding happiness in the treasure of new experiences than to stand still and remain unchanged.
- 19th December
- 10th December
- 28th November
- 18th November
- 13th November